Like almost everyone else in the world, I spent a few hours over twixtmas aimlessly scrolling through social media for no reason at all. There’s not much there that inspires me there if I’m honest. Love a bit of the ‘gram, but it’s very me, me, me and most of the time it’s same shit, different account. I think I have learnt in the last 18 months (and decade, I guess) that the only person capable of inspiring you is yourself. It’s great to have people there, doing stuff and being all happy about it, but it can also make you feel like utter shit, because change is often utter shit. I still get up and look at it in the morning and internally chastise myself for the fact I seem incapable of getting up at 6am to go running. I can do it when I’m on a trip and have a job to do, but never at home. I think ultimately, it comes down to the fact I like my bed and I like sleeping and I’m a teeny weeny bit lazy. I am definitely a night possum and that’s not ever going to change. So I need to be cool with that. And do you know what? I really am. I don’t need to change that. I don’t really think I need to change anything, but people seem to constantly be telling us we all do.
Anyway, I have decided to write down all the stuff I did last year, not as a humblebrag or not-so-humblebrag, but as a reminder to myself of the fact I have come pretty far in a very weird year. This time last year, I was still living in London. I’d binned off all my music industry clients, I was in a proper despair hole, packing up my stuff and getting ready to move to the countryside. I should have been happy, but I was in bits. Everything I had worked for my whole career was gone. I’d made the decision to leave it all behind and it really, really hurt. It was like deciding to leave an abusive partner. I still loved it and had worked so hard to make it work, but I knew it was killing me.
Back then I didn’t think things would ever get better. But they have. It’s not all been fine wine and belgian chocolates – change isn’t easy – but I feel like I’ve worked hard and I feel like I’ve built a foundation for 2020. And if that helps someone else to make a terrifying, and what some people might call stupid* decision that will make their life better then that’s awesome.
(*people that say that are just jealous you’ve had the balls to step away from what society deems as normal. Fuck ‘em right off.)
JANUARY 2019
Jesus Christ, January was horrible. I was still in post Panama PTSD mode and was generally still knackered. Plus I was very, very depressed. I had to move house, I wasn’t eating properly and I was doing my first big talk at The National Running Show, which scared the shit out of me. I managed to get out and run the Dark Moors 10km at the start of the month and kind of binge ran the rest of the month, making it to 87 miles for the month. I didn’t have much focus. I had no job and a new life I needed to sort out. Not great. I also had nothing planned for February – my first marathon was in March. I desperately needed to get some work and that was making me anxious. But do you know what? I still managed to get through it. I slept a lot.
The National Running show went better than could be expected. Thank fuck.
FEBRUARY 2019
There’s not a lot to say about this, except February 2019 can fuck right off. I did knuckle down to getting some work and managed to get in around 97 miles for the month, but had a whole week off living at all, mainly because I just couldn’t get out of bed. That will not be happening this year. That isn’t helpful to anyone. It did snow though and that was quite good fun. That’s all there was to report. Life was pretty much going tits up.
Literally the only image of me smiling in February.
MARCH 2019
I’d started thinking about my big event for 2019 which was Devon Coast to Coast – 117 miles from the bottom of Devon to the top, across Exmoor and Dartmoor. I decided it would be a good idea to get out and recee – so I did. I’d found some work, I’d got some test pilot trips under my belt for the year and I’d been forcing myself to make plans and attempt to stop worrying about the fact I had no money and very little career. I’d also been forcing myself to run. Some of those runs had been hideous, but others were amazing. I took Pickle for her first go at Canicross at the Larmer 20, then we spent weekend in Devon receeing our route. I finally started my new real job in Bristol, so had a reason to get up in the morning each made a change. Ended up with 200 miles in for the month. And felt a shit tonne better for it.
Pickle having a better time that me at the Larmer 20
APRIL 2019
I’d been invited to Bulgaria with the BBR Podcast to do a talk at an Ultra Expo and that was fun. PLUS it was Ultra Tour of Arran time. It became glaringly obvious that I wasn’t as fit as I thought I was when I got there. It was a massive slog but still one of my favourite races of the year. Oh, and then I went and ran London marathon twice. Once backwards at 1am and then again the right way round at 10am. Gonna be honest, I preferred the backwards route. 125 miles for the month, with the most ridiculous race diary for May looming.
MAY 2019
So, it would appear that I thought it was a good idea to put in 3 back to back ultras one weekend after the other. First up was the Ox Epic (80 odd miles across 3 days), then the week after the Devon Coast to Coast – the single hardest race I have ever done. Ended up with trenchfoot and a new personal worst for 117 miles of 35 hours. Brilliant. I have to go back and do it again now. Then the following week (after I swore I would never run again) the 27 mile Dorset invader – two loops going up the biggest hill in Dorset. I absolutely loved this race. I don’t know what it was, but it gave me back my love for running just like that. And this is important to remember. You can lose it but it can come back just as fast. Don’t give up. That was a 240 mile month. And didn’t I know it.
Devon Coast to Coast and The Dorset Invader. Races that broke and then fixed me.
JUNE 2019
June saw me trotting over to the South Downs Way to pace my friend Rosanna for the last 18 miles of the 100. I’d also got a volunteer place at registration. This meant being up from 5am on Saturday until 10am on Sunday. Not recommended, but ace endurance training. The following week, I found myself running 72 laps of Shepton Prison for the Sussex Trail Events Prison Marathon. I was so hungover for that race. Probably for the best. It was horrible. But brilliant. Then the week after it was back to Dorset for my first go at the “Glastonbury of trail running”, Giants Head Marathon. The week after that I headed to Spain with Rat Race to recee the Sea to Summit route – a 3 day run across Spain from sea level up to the second highest mountain in Western Europe. It was hot. And Jim made us start at 2am. But it was brilliant. I also conquered my fear of mountains thanks to the help of the wonderful Ross Worthington. Thanks Ross! Weirdly only managed 140 miles for the month. Felt like more. Mentally, I was doing really well. The reason? I was doing what I loved most weekends. I am so much better when I am running.
One of my favourite photos of the year - Rosanna finishes the South Downs Way 100.
Dicking about round a prison in various headwear, running Giants Head Marathon and sitting at the top of Malhacen in Spain.
JULY 2019
Triple header weekend – Man vs Coast, Man Vs Lakes and Cider Frolic. I had Cider Frolic in my head as an A game race for the year – if I was going to try and win one thing, it would be this. And win it I did, managing 64 miles in 12 hours. BOOM. It was my first go at seeing how far I would run in 12 hours so I was pretty pleased. I also got asked if I would go out to Namibia again to crew the inaugural Race to the Wreck. Possibly the best email I have ever got. Things were looking up massively. Miles for the month came in at 145. I wasn’t getting out much in the week because of the weekend racing. That’s something I need to work on this year.
Man Vs Coast - always the hottest day of the year and doing a win at my first 12 hour race.
AUGUST 2019
I did a lot better in August when it came to maintaining miles without having races to do. We volunteered at the North Downs Way 100 which I LOVED and I trotted off to Malta for the Maltese Falcon test pilot trip. That was an amazing trip because it was only one days running which meant HOLIDAY. YES. I also had two massive test pilots coming up in Scotland which meant I needed to be fit and focus on them. So I did. Give me something to do and I will actually do it, plus everything else in life comes together. The only thing that didn’t come together was me deciding to dye my hair red. I am not 16 anymore. It doesn’t work like it used to. In the words of Amy Winehouse, back to black. That’s defo what she was singing about in that song. 134 miles for the month, September incoming.
Taking volunteering very seriously at NDW100 and trotting around Malta with G-Law.
SEPTEMBER 2019
I trotted off with Rat Race to spend a week running across Scotland from Fort William to Inverness on a test pilot trip that involved packrafts and a lot of water. I still hate packrafts. This was, however, such a special trip. We ran and rafted and stayed in bothies and I got to paddle across Loch Ness in what is essentially a glorifed dingy. Cannot recommend this event enough. So much fun. Such a beautiful trip and amazingly successful TP. Once I got home it was off the Dorset for the inaugural Jurassic Ultra – 34 miles along the Dorset coast from Lulworth to Freshwater. Amazing event from White Star Running, marred only by the fact that 75mph winds that night left us with no tent and me with no shoes. Long story. 235 miles for September, with a massive October ahead of me.
Rafting about in Scotland. Amazing photo courtesy of James Appleton/Rat Race Adventure Sports.
Playing packrafts with Gary and trotting out at the start of the Jurassic Coast Ultra.
This is a photo I took on the last day running in Scotland on my iPhone. That house is where I want to live.
OCTOBER 2019
I think this was my favourite month of the year. First up, was the London Ultra which was actually just over a marathon through all the green spaces in London. Spoiler – it’s not that green and it IS London. It was a good training run, but reminded me why I don’t live there anymore. Gross. Then I headed out to Goring for the Autumn 100 – in a volunteer capacity - and then straight to the airport to head to Scotland. I had worked really hard pulling together a female only team for the Outer Hebrides test pilot trip – it’s long been a bucket list destination for me and so this was something I literally couldn’t wait to do. The event was amazing. Fucking hard work and a shame that we didn’t make it to the Butt of Lewis but that’s what test piloting is for right? I think I probably got about 15 hours sleep the whole week and not for fun reasons. Ace trip, ace photos so have included a load of them here. I was FUCKED when I got back, but headed straight to York (literally off the train, straight to York) to run the marathon with a 40 person Viking boat for the Rat Race Rock the Boat project. More on that later. It was awesome. Finally, I had to do a little trip to Jersey to film a Rat Race promo for Jim. We didn’t actually get much running in that weekend – which was good because I had another massive trip coming up in November. Total miles for the month 275. Biggest of the year.
Epic Hebrides shots courtesy of the ever brilliant Leo Francis/Rat Race Adventure Sports
NOVEMBER 2019
I started November back in Goring doing the Centurion Piece of String race which was brutal. I’ve now got the rose tinted “I’d do that again” glasses on. I need to put those glasses somewhere that I can’t find them. Then it was back out to Namibia to help crew Race to the Wreck – probably my most fulfilling week of the year. I loved it. Loved seeing those people complete something epic and being part of it. If you do one thing this year, sign up for this race. It’s immense. When I got back, I realised that was it. No more adventures this year. Got sad, took some time out. Then started filling up the diary for 2020. Total miles for November 209. More epic photos. Sorry, not sorry.
As always, forever indebted to Leo for following me round with a camera like a weirdo. Leo Francis/Rat Race Adventure Sports.
DECEMBER 2019
I had two marathons in for December – Mouth to Mouth in Sussex and Escot Marathon in Devon. I was exhausted. I was pretty depressed. She stuff had happened that had really shaken me plus I just wasn’t looking after myself at all. I hate Christmas. I decided not to do Mouth to Mouth – my first ever DNS I think. And that was for the best – I’d had enough of pretending that I was OK. I wasn’t and I needed to rest. It was the best thing I could do. I ignored Chritmas day and went and did some volunteering. I started getting out running again for fun and had a brilliant time at Escot. Just before new year I went to the Isle of Wight with some of my Hebrides crew and ran around most of the island. It was such good fun. We took it easy and I realised that I did still love running. And now here we are. 141 miles for December and around 2030 miles for the year. Boom. Done.
Isle of Wight massive.
So that was that. It’s been real and it’s been a lot. But it’s definitely been a turning point. A decade ago I had never run a marathon. Now I have run well over a hundred. I’ve travelled to places I never thought I would see. I’ve done more ultra-distances than marathon distances and I have come a massively long way mental health wise. I still get ill, but I can almost always catch it now. And when I can’t catch it, I can deal with it. I’ve made some huge changes. I miss my old life, I miss my friends, but I have made loads of new ones this year and my love of people is slowly coming back.
Sunsets in the Hebrides. Doing what I love the best. Another Leo Francis/Rat Race Adventure Sports classic.
It’s not easy this change malarkey, but it is doable. You just have to chunk it all down and basically get on with it. It’s not done either – it’s hard constant work. But you do get there. And it’s all about moving forward. Talking of which – 2020. Here’s what’s going on
January warm up is the 43 mile Country to Capital on the 11th – sort of looking forward to this and it’s really helped to keep me going through the Christmas period. Plus it’s the National Running Show in Birmingham – where I am presenting not only the Viking Boat, Bad Boy Running and the BBRC to the world, but also the main stage in the Ultra Zone. Its possibly going to me the most stressful weekend of my life, but it will be fine, right? The first half of February is pretty quiet event wise, so if anyone has anything fun on let me know! Then it’s off to Mongolia again to help crew the Mongol 100. I AM SO EXCITED! Bloody love Mongolia, plus it means I get to run across the ice again which is the best thing ever. Then it’s a couple of weeks at home and off to Panama to do the same thing in March – cannot believe I am going back. I’m sure it will all be fine.
In April I’m heading to the Arctic Circle to run around three countries in three days and then in May it would appear I am trying to end myself. May is Thames Path 100, The Ox Epicer (a marathon, two 10kms, a 50 mile ultra and a half marathon in 4 days LOL), a 150-mile Test Pilot in Exhuma and the Unicorn Frolic, a 12 hour race at the end of the month. Shit a brick. In July I am doing test pilot trips in Dominica and Greece, before the North Downs Way 100 in August. September I am travelling to Kamchatka on another test pilot trip and in October will be finishing the Centurion Grand Slam with the Autumn 100 and then a test pilot trip to Madagascar. November I will hopefully be heading out to Namibia again and then there’s talk of some sort of Australis/New Zealand test pilot trip. There are also a few other things I can’t mention yet that are super exciting, but will spare you all for now.
In addition to all this I have the boat – the big old Viking Boat. It’s going on tour, we have places at marathons thoughout the UK and beyond, and the aim is to raise £1million for Children with Cancer. I’m going in hard on this in January, so if you fancy a space of have a group of people that fancy a space let me know ASAP. It’s the most fun ever, and such a good project for running clubs to get involved with. You can read all about it and sign up here: https://marathonmarauders.com
Here is my boat - come and get in it! Photo: James Appleton/Rat Race Adventure Sports
Look how happy they all are! Photo: James Appleton/Rat Race Adventure Sports
What has been the point of this post? The point is, it is possible to change things and to persue things that you want to do and are good at and that make you happy. Next year is a test. Can I keep it up and still pay the bills? Will it all fall to shit? I don’t know. What goals have I set myself? The only running one I have is to complete the Grand Slam. I want to do all those 100-mile races without getting injured, and ideally I would like to do all of them in under 24 hours. But if I don’t that’s cool. If I can just finish them, that would be great.
I also REALLY want to get the book going. Every year I don’t make time for it and I need to get writing. Quite how I am going to do that I don’t know. Anyone got 30K they want to give me to take the rest of the year off?
So now you’ve read this (well done that was a fucking endurance challenge in itself) and you’re thinking that you wish that you could do something epic this year, get off your arse and send me an email and we will make it happen. There is a big wide world out there and it’s yours for the taking. Having something amazing to aim for whether that’s your first marathon, test pilot trip, ultra, whatever it is, don’t overthink it and just do it. You won’t regret it. It just makes you richer. It gives you focus and it can change your life. Right, I’m off for a run.
I carried Alfred across the desert and left him at the wreck on the Bolen. I really hope I see him next year.
Photo: Leo Francis/Rat Race Adventure Sports